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21 August 2011

Maturity

This past year was like FIVE years packed into one. I lost both my grandparents within 3 months of eachother. That opened my eyes to alot of things. It helped me to put life into perspective. I evaluated...dissected...analyzed all of my actions and decisions of the past. As my Dad says, "If you die tomorrow, you've enjoyed your life. No one can say that you haven't lived." He's right. I sacrificed alot of things, including my career, in order to enjoy. Alot of things occurred, good and bad, as a result of my living life to the fullest.  Some I never understood.  But just recently I received clarity on the last five years of my life.  And I was overwhelmed with tears because I finally understood what I had struggled with not knowing for the past 5 years.  The weights were lifted...my burden became light.  And now I am ready to move on.

God has been dealing with me in all areas of my life.  Through our dealings, I've been restoring my relationship with Him.  And I've matured enough to finally submit to His will for my life.  Every morning I wake up with joy in my heart.  When trouble and situations arouse, I no longer stress over them like I used to because I know that everything happens according to God's will.  I have a newfound peace and I LOVE IT!!!

My vice was holding onto people who I should've let go.  But I realize that anyone who stands in between you and God, is not in His plan/will for your life.  So I've let them go.  I've also removed people who brought drama/stress/negativity/garbage to my life. You have to clean out garbage before it stinks.  Seems like the people who need to leave the most are the ones who refuse go. They stick around to know your business and contaminate your life when given the opportunity. In those instances, you have to exercise discipline and take the initiative. It's your life so be careful who you allow to sit front row.

I understand that I will meet people that I don't agree with, people that I don't like, that rub me the wrong way. But I will not allow those people to affect my emotions or influence my actions. I've been through the storm and come to realize that water is necessary for a flower to grow. I am ready and prepared to move on with my life. Closing this chapter and writing a new one.♥



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