Love...Love....Love

Have you ever loved something/someone so much that you would do anything to make it work? And it seemed that whatever you did, it didn't work. And just when you decided to walk away....to leave, there were signs that maybe it could work. That you shouldn't give up. So you hold onto that small piece of hope. Replaying every good memory. Analyzing every action, every exchange, to determine if you've done your part. Then you realize that there are some things you could've done but didn't. What should you do? Say those things you should've said? Do those things you didn't? If you still have the opportunity, then yes. But if the relationship has run its course, then let it go. That's life. You pray about it, suck it up and move on.

It's just so hard to move on from love, even if it's one-sided because the heart fights for what it feels. Makes excuses for what it can't cure. Holds on to what it can't let go. Accepts what it can't change. And all of that's fine, but don't let love abuse you, mistreat you, ruin you so that you're incapable of loving again.

I know all about love. About the feeling of excitement when it's new. The anxiety and adrenaline flowing through your body prior to every meeting with the new love. The racing of your heartbeat with just the sound of their name. That's the honeymoon stage. Eventually the new love fades and it becomes day to day. You encounter real life problems and disagreements. This is the test of your love. Can it survive differences? Misunderstandings? Possibly infidelity? They say love covers a multitude of fault, so it just may. What doesn't kill us makes us stronger.

The trouble area in love is the compromise. It can't always be the same person compromising. In order to maintain a healthy and happy relationship, each party has to give and respect the other's wishes. Sometimes you have to do things that you don't want to. But you should do it with a smile because it makes the person that you love happy. Their happiness is enough to make your sacrifice worthwhile.

Personally, I struggle with love because my emotions are so deep and unconditional. The level of my loyalty and devotion makes me very hesitant to take that route. My hesitation doesn't necessarily take away my ability to love but it creates a wall that one must breakdown to enjoy the benefits of my love. See I am one that gives her all, not for notoriety or the opportunity to throw it in your face later. But for the joy it brings...for the smile on his face. Everyone wants an unselfish lover but what happens when you get one and you're not ready to give love? My fear is loving someone that doesn't love me. The thought of going day to day thinking about him, wandering if I crossed his mind. And the fact that I have to wonder.....such a humbling experience. But I do know, that one can not truly appreciate love until he/she has experienced heartbreak. It is then that you value the small things and become more understanding of life's mishaps.

Love...Love...Love. People define love in many different ways, but the bottom line is this: You must love GOD and yourself before you can love anyone else. Now that's a proven fact!♥

INDEPENDENT WOMEN

Let's talk about independent woman. Men say they want a strong, independent woman yet they are intimidated by them. So the million dollar question is "why do they knock gold-diggers if deep down, they want someone who needs them?"

I understand that the term independent woman has somewhat of a negative image because some women take it to the male bashing level. But not all independent women are like that. I feel independent means that for the most part, you are self-sufficient and financially you provide for yourself. And no we, independent women, may not need a man for financial stability but we want a man for companionship, emotional support, and help in others areas. For a man to be wanted by a woman is the ultimate compliment because she's made a conscious choice to have you in her life. She chose you. She wasn't forced due to a need not being met. It was her free will.

I just had to discuss this topic because I am baffled by the fact that some men feel like they can't add to the lives of successful women. And these men knock those women because they feel inadequate. I don't think that's fair. I take pride in being a strong, independent black woman but the joy and fulfillment I receive is not at anyone's expense. My feeling of accomplishment, knowing that I can stand on my own should not offend anyone. And any man should be happy to have a woman that can hold her own and his too if there ever comes a time that he can't.

My grandmother taught me that being a strong woman doesn't mean you have to step on your mates toes. The strength comes in picking and choosing your battles....letting him lead and subtly stepping in when you realize that he's lost his way.

I encourage my women to continue to make a way for yourselves because at the end of the day, if the relationship goes sour, all you've got is you. But be open to love and allowing the man to be a man. Don't go into the relationship with a negative outlook...pick your battles wisely.... love...live...and compromise.

And to my men, I understand that there are women who make it their business to let you know that they do not need you! And that may very well be true. But she does need love, we all do! So you shouldn't let a woman's credentials, possessions, looks or confidence deter you from showing interest. If in fact you are interested. Take the time to get to know her, to understand her. Normally the harder the exterior, the softer/warmer the interior. There's alot of lonely people out there. She may not need your finances but there's so much more to give than that. Strong women...independent women....successful women....all need love. TRUST ME!♥

PROCRASTINATION

Hey!!! So I finally created a blog and I am soooo excited because I have alot to share with the world! (Lol) Just to give you a little insight about me, I am a country girl with Hollywood swag. I've been through alot....overcame more....and I continue to press toward the mark. I am a strong woman with Christian values but as the book says, "God's not through with me yet!"

I titled this blog "Procrastination" because that is my Kryptonite. I have good intentions and GREAT ideas. I plan for it....then I take forever to follow through. Lol But today...TODAY BABY!?! I am procrastination FREE!! And it feels great!

Are you a procrastinator? Is there anything in your life that you've always wanted to do, planned for it, but never took the final steps to make it happen? I say STOP procrastinating and JUST DO IT! From one procrastinator to another, I BELIEVE IN YOU!!! ♥