RUDE AWAKENING

Yeah I took a blow to the head with my Grandma AND Grandda dying. I cry many nights because life will never be the same. I know they're watching over me but it hurts like hell. It's great that I have two angels now but I never imagined life like this...without them. In a sense I thought they would be here forever. Never thought about life without them.


I lost two people that meant the world to me within 4 months of eachother. That changed my life. I got to REALLY see people for who they are. Behind the fake smiles and kind words, I saw the real and the ugly.  It was disheartening, disappointing, and anger provoking all at once.  Can't say I was shocked because you can't put anything past people but it was surprising.  I value love so much that I assumed that others did too. Apparently not, alot of people are selfish.

So now I'm focusing on Merchon...putting Merchon first. I just want to live my life, prosper in my career and meet someone who genuinely loves me and makes me happy. Life is too short to spend it with people who stress you out and make you unhappy. So be careful and very cautious who you let into your life because your interactions may lead to love. You don't choose love but you can choose who you put into your life to have the possibility of being the one you fall in love with.

You hear me? I'm serious. I've been putting my life into perspective because two of the loves of my life are gone. And they shared a REAL love.  I want that.  I want a REAL love. A love that withstands the test of time. A love that makes me smile when my heart cries. A love that's sweet when the world around me is sour.  A love that understands me when no one else does.  A love that never ceases to amaze me over the years. I know it's possible because I've seen it firsthand. I want to travel the world with him and experience new things together....go to different events....do wild and crazy things....act like children, all giddy and silly...just enjoy eachother...no arguments, just communication...No insults, just appreciation....no debates, just point of views....Just US, Not "me and you." Loving him for life and then some. That's what I'm praying for.
This blog is out of nowhere, I know. I'm just sharing where I'm at. We deserve people that make us happy. I made up in my mind that if he doesn't make me smile and I don't have fun with him, I can't marry him. I'm not gonna spend my life arguing or fighting. I want to travel, try new things and enjoy eachother. That's what I want and I'm gonna get it :) The Lord says, "If we delight ourselves in Him, He'll give us the desires of our heart." And I'm holding Him to it!♥
  ♥