Love...Love....Love

Have you ever loved something/someone so much that you would do anything to make it work? And it seemed that whatever you did, it didn't work. And just when you decided to walk away....to leave, there were signs that maybe it could work. That you shouldn't give up. So you hold onto that small piece of hope. Replaying every good memory. Analyzing every action, every exchange, to determine if you've done your part. Then you realize that there are some things you could've done but didn't. What should you do? Say those things you should've said? Do those things you didn't? If you still have the opportunity, then yes. But if the relationship has run its course, then let it go. That's life. You pray about it, suck it up and move on.

It's just so hard to move on from love, even if it's one-sided because the heart fights for what it feels. Makes excuses for what it can't cure. Holds on to what it can't let go. Accepts what it can't change. And all of that's fine, but don't let love abuse you, mistreat you, ruin you so that you're incapable of loving again.

I know all about love. About the feeling of excitement when it's new. The anxiety and adrenaline flowing through your body prior to every meeting with the new love. The racing of your heartbeat with just the sound of their name. That's the honeymoon stage. Eventually the new love fades and it becomes day to day. You encounter real life problems and disagreements. This is the test of your love. Can it survive differences? Misunderstandings? Possibly infidelity? They say love covers a multitude of fault, so it just may. What doesn't kill us makes us stronger.

The trouble area in love is the compromise. It can't always be the same person compromising. In order to maintain a healthy and happy relationship, each party has to give and respect the other's wishes. Sometimes you have to do things that you don't want to. But you should do it with a smile because it makes the person that you love happy. Their happiness is enough to make your sacrifice worthwhile.

Personally, I struggle with love because my emotions are so deep and unconditional. The level of my loyalty and devotion makes me very hesitant to take that route. My hesitation doesn't necessarily take away my ability to love but it creates a wall that one must breakdown to enjoy the benefits of my love. See I am one that gives her all, not for notoriety or the opportunity to throw it in your face later. But for the joy it brings...for the smile on his face. Everyone wants an unselfish lover but what happens when you get one and you're not ready to give love? My fear is loving someone that doesn't love me. The thought of going day to day thinking about him, wandering if I crossed his mind. And the fact that I have to wonder.....such a humbling experience. But I do know, that one can not truly appreciate love until he/she has experienced heartbreak. It is then that you value the small things and become more understanding of life's mishaps.

Love...Love...Love. People define love in many different ways, but the bottom line is this: You must love GOD and yourself before you can love anyone else. Now that's a proven fact!♥