Epiphany

I think about life all the time. Where I am.....where I'm going.....where I should be....why I'm not there. And truth is, It was due to a number of things....I trusted too easily....cared too deeply....even shared too much. Which is crazy because those are great qualities to possess but bad to exemplify when you're trying to excel. Especially, when you're dealing with people who aren't really for you. Those people will take your kindness as weakness and take advantage of your humility. More importantly, they will distract you from God's purpose for your life. And they did just that to me. I found myself engaging in meaningless activity and wasting time on things I can't even recall. It took me a minute to see through the falsity. As the saying goes, "everything that glitters ain't gold." Boy, do I know the meaning of that. I wasn't hurt that they weren't who they presented themselves to be, just disappointed in myself for being so naive.

So here I am today. My heart cries for progression. It yearns to be more than I am right now. Yes, where I am is a great place for most, but it's not good enough for me. I know that my journey is long, for my God says so. And I am both excited and discouraged because I wonder if I have even begun to travel it. I look at the years I have wasted on frivolous matters and superficial people, and cry because I know those years are lost forever. But hope dries my eyes and aspiration gives me the energy to press on.

At times my heart aches because I'm not in the position to help others to the magnitude I desire. For someone to humble them self and come to me, and I can't help....hurts like hell! So I strive daily, not for me, for them. I press everyday, not for me, for them. I can't give up, no matter how hard it becomes, because this battle isn't just for me, my people need me! So I will press on.....I will fight through it...And stay positive because this is bigger than me. It is my duty! I will not let man, material things nor the cares of this world keep me from God's purpose for my life! If not me, then who?♥

"For many are called, but few are chosen." Matt.22:14