Often times, we let age, circumstances, and peer pressure make us feel like we must HURRY and marry. That's unfortunate because marriage is something that should be done out of love, dedication and admiration for your mate. It should be encompassed by the spirit of unity and love erasing the residue of loneliness and past hurt. Marriage won't cure those things which you have to fix from within. You have to work on who you are in your own time. Who you were BEFORE the marriage is who you will be AFTER the marriage UNLESS you work on you.
Prior to marriage, there is a preparation stage. This is the time that you ponder questions about what you're wanting out of a mate. It is also a time for self reflection. EXAMINE YOURSELF!!! Are you someone YOU would want to come home to? Probably not. What about you makes you hard to deal with? What areas could you improve? What about your life don't you like? What goal/fantasy/dream did you want to accomplish prior to marriage? What doors haven't you closed? Now take a look at your answers. You have identified what must be addressed and resolved PRIOR to marriage.
Keep in mind that you are planning to embark on a NEW life with someone and you don't want anything from your past hindering your future. That's why it is a must that you handle unresolved issues that may be a potential threat to your union. You don't have to disclose everything inch of your history to your mate because everyone has a past. But those things that could be damaging to your union if resurfaced should be disclosed. You owe them the courtesy of hearing it from you out of consideration rather than desperation.
Just keep in mind that getting married is a very serious decision to make. From a legal standpoint, it involves sharing of assets and a lot of time and paperwork to dissolve. There will also be emotional ties beyond any relationship you will ever have. So when choosing your spouse, be very very attentive and cautious in your search. Pay attention to the signs and be REALISTIC with yourself. A lot of things you may be able to deal with for a day....a month....a year....but we're talking FOREVER here. And if your thought was, "Well, if it doesn't work, I can always get a divorce." Then you definitely shouldn't be contemplating marriage because you're considering divorce before the I do's. You are vowing to love this person until DEATH do you part. So your mindset should be, "I am willing and ready to work through WHATEVER life throws at me and my spouse because THIS is the person I want to spend the REST of my life with."
MORAL: When considering marriage, you must do so with all seriousness and exercise extreme caution in your decisions. Marriage is a life changing event that should be honored and cherished. It is a sacred bond between husband and wife ordained by God. It is FOREVER and will change YOUR life FOREVER. So be sure you know what you're getting yourself into.♥
♥
