Dr. Martin Luther King

Dr. Martin Luther King Jr.....I've always admired his knowledge, his vision and his courage.  The way he and others pioneered change birthed a fire inside of me to do great things to make our world a better place.  His leadership and dreams united with others created a better life and more opportunities for me.   He and Medgar Evers were two of many who paid the ultimate sacrifice, their lives, to afford us a better standard of living. HAPPY BIRTHDAY DR. MARTIN LUTHER KING, JR.!!! Thank you for sacrificing your life for my freedom. Your death was not in vain. Everyday I take advantage of the opportunities you've afforded me. And because of you, I too have a dream. #ForeverGrateful


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Lesson Overload

I learned alot this weekend. I learned about respect, jealousy, trust, loyalty and business. Respect is something that everyone wants but very few are willing to give.  Some people will do and say things to undercut you and attempt to embarrass you publicly, then apologize privately, expecting for you to forgive and act as if it never occurred.  Now that's absurd!  But you should forgive, so that you may go on with your life because harboring hate and resentment will only hold you back.  Just because you forgive a person doesn't mean you have to befriend them or associate with them, it just means you are over and pass the situation.  It also means that you're no longer allowing the situation and/or that person to affect you.
Now onto jealousy.  Jealousy is unexplainable. People will be jealous of you with out cause.  It's often self-inflicted and out of your control. A jealous person is a dangerous person because if given the opportunity, they will do things underhandledly to destroy you.  No matter how nice you are to them, they will still dislike you because you have something that they want. Unfortunately, family and friends usually make up the majority of this group.

Then there's trust.  Many people have trust issues because they've been burned by someone close to them, family, friend, lover, etc. So after having negative experiences, people tend to become skeptical of others.  Understand that trust is a two way street.  You must prove yourself trustworthy, in order to be trusted. Also, just as you may be skeptical of others, they are skeptical as you as well.  For those who trust EASILY, DON'T!!!  You should make it a requirement for someone to earn your trust and a place in your life.  Trust is invaluable.  Once it's given and broken, it changes your life.  So before giving someone such great power, investigate their history....do your research...listen to their conversation...and observe their behavior.  Unfortunately in this day and age, people aren't always who they proclaim to be, so be careful.

Next we have loyalty. Loyalty goes hand in hand with trust.  Most people who are trustworthy are also loyal. They stay true to their word and their allegiances.  I learned this weekend that alot of people pretend to be a "friend."  However, they are only associating with you for what they can gain and given the opportunity, they'll switch out on you in a heartbeat.  Yes, it's disheartening when it happens, but understand that in every situation there's a lesson.  The best thing to do is shake it off, learn from it and move on.

And last but not least, there's business.  People will do alot of trifling things in the name of business. "Nothing personal, it's just business." Now don't get me wrong, business should never be mixed with personal, BUT you should not have shiesty dealings and use "it's just business" as an excuse.  Otherwise, it's bad business. Secondly, if you are in business with someone else, it's called a PARTNERSHIP.  This means that MORE than one person makes the decisions. You should never make decisions without consulting with your partner.  And if you feel that you do not need to consult your partner, then you should be a sole proprietor (in business by yourself). 

These are the lessons I learned. Some of them were just reinforced, but I thought I'd share them with you all. Happy Martin Luther King Day :)
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World View

We live in a crazy world where kindness can be seen as weakness or miscontrued as interest by the opposite sex. A world where silence can be taken as rudeness when you've just chosen to stay to yourself and reflect. A world where everyone thinks they're right, placing fault on anyone/anything not their own. A world where accountability is very seldom embraced, remember people correction starts at HOME. WORK ON YOURSELVES FIRST. #MerchonsLaw♥



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TROY DAVIS and The American Justice System

Troy Davis was the man executed for the 1989 death of Mark MacPhail, a police officer, working as a security guard at Burger King in Savannah, GA. During Troy's 1991 trial, seven witnesses testified they had seen Troy shoot MacPhail, and two others testified that Troy had confessed the murder to them, and six others for the defense, including Troy. The murder weapon was never recovered and there was no DNA evidence or fingerprints, but ballistic evidence presented at trial linked bullets recovered at or near the scene to those at another shooting in which Troy was also charged. He was convicted of murder and various lesser charges, including the earlier shooting, and was sentenced to death in August 1991.

Troy maintained his innocence until his death, September 21, 2011 at 11:08 pm. In the 20 years between his conviction and execution, 7 out the 9 prosecution witnesses changed or recanted their statements. One of those witnesses being rumored to be the actual killer.  Some of the witnesses stated police coercion.  These changes and accusations were never addressed or investigated.

Over the years of Troy Davis's imprisonment, he appealed to no avail.  Finally in 2009, he was granted an evidentiary hearing. On June 2010, Troy's evidentiary hearing was held and he was required to prove his innocence, a heavy burtden to bear. Despite presenting affidavits from 7 out of 9 witnesses recanting or changing their statements, he was not granted a new trial and his conviction was upheld.

I can not say that I know without a doubt that Troy Davis was innocent or guilty.  But I can say that there was too much doubt to warrant lethal injection. America is called "the land of the free."  It has a "justice" system where each individual is "innocent" until "proven" guilty. Every man is given a "fair" trial. Tell me, do you believe this?  Unfortunately I can't say that I do. Sometimes other factors, race....age....gender....finances....education....resources...location, all play a part in someone receiving justice.  I've heard about the innocents imprisoned for crimes they didn't commit.  As a legal professional, I am aware of those unfortunate cases.  But for the first time in MY life, I watched as evidence for a new trial went ignored.  I watched as millions protesting were ignored....as opinions from respected legal scholars and experts were overlooked. And I couldn't help but wonder, why so much disregard for accuracy....for the truth?  Or is charging the RIGHT offender important anymore?  Or will anyone suffice?

What would make so many legal officials overlook standards and lack of evidence? What about the rules of professional responsibility they are governed by? Why didn't the truth matter? Why didn't millions of people protesting tug at their hearts....their conscience? Seems like all we've have is Jesus if the people we've trusted to serve and protect us are biased...making their own standards. Such blatant disregard for human life. I pray for America because we need it.

Troy Davis's execution showed us in bold print that our justice system is flawed.  It is disturbing that there's no uniformity or standards that must be followed when imposing the death penalty in the United States.  Nor any uniformity amongst Parole Boards.  Of course there are always rules and regulations in place, but are they being followed?  Who's regulating or making sure they're enforced? 

In May 22, 2008, Georgia's Board of Parole pardoned Samuel David Crowe who in March 1988, killed store manager Joseph Pala during a robbery at the lumber company in Douglas County, west of Atlanta. Crowe, who had previously worked at the store, shot Pala three times with a pistol, beat him with a crowbar and a pot of paint.  His death sentence was commuted to a life sentence without parole. It was stated that "David Crowe takes full responsibility for his crime and experiences profound remorse."  This same parole board denied Troy Davis's request, despite 7 of the 9 convicting witnesses recanting their statements. Would they have shown mercy and pardoned him if he admitted guilt and remorse for a crime that he proclaimed innocence against? 

We may never know.  I do know that I watched as millions protested and begged for a man's life to be spared. I watched as the masses, including some high esteemed individuals, were silenced by the few.  I watched as those few decided to continue with Troy Davis's death.  I watched with tears in my eyes as a possibly innocent man's life was taken in the midst of a hurricane of doubt.  I cried and my heart hurt like he was my brother. And I decided that I will no longer watch injustice.

I will no longer stand by and feel helpless and sorrowful for the indiscretions of America's "justice" system....for the indiscretions of America.  I will fight for the innocent.  I will fight against the death penalty.  I will fight for those who can't fight.  I will use my Juris Doctorate for more than just a dollar.  If I have to, I'll do it alone.  But I know I won't because you'll stand with me.  You saw what I saw.  You felt what I felt.  And you don't ever want to feel that way again. So educate yourselves. Be aware of your surroundings...your environment.  More importantly, VOTE!!!  At EVERY election, local, state and national.  Write your legislature, they work for you.  Your city council....your commissioners.....they work for YOU!!!  It's time we take a stand TOGETHER and make a change that's warranted. Let's stop being the victim. Take my hand and let's lead a purpose filled life.

Troy Davis, your life is not in vein.  You have fueled the fire in many. Thanks for the reality check. May you rest in peace.♥

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Maturity

This past year was like FIVE years packed into one. I lost both my grandparents within 3 months of eachother. That opened my eyes to alot of things. It helped me to put life into perspective. I evaluated...dissected...analyzed all of my actions and decisions of the past. As my Dad says, "If you die tomorrow, you've enjoyed your life. No one can say that you haven't lived." He's right. I sacrificed alot of things, including my career, in order to enjoy. Alot of things occurred, good and bad, as a result of my living life to the fullest.  Some I never understood.  But just recently I received clarity on the last five years of my life.  And I was overwhelmed with tears because I finally understood what I had struggled with not knowing for the past 5 years.  The weights were lifted...my burden became light.  And now I am ready to move on.

God has been dealing with me in all areas of my life.  Through our dealings, I've been restoring my relationship with Him.  And I've matured enough to finally submit to His will for my life.  Every morning I wake up with joy in my heart.  When trouble and situations arouse, I no longer stress over them like I used to because I know that everything happens according to God's will.  I have a newfound peace and I LOVE IT!!!

My vice was holding onto people who I should've let go.  But I realize that anyone who stands in between you and God, is not in His plan/will for your life.  So I've let them go.  I've also removed people who brought drama/stress/negativity/garbage to my life. You have to clean out garbage before it stinks.  Seems like the people who need to leave the most are the ones who refuse go. They stick around to know your business and contaminate your life when given the opportunity. In those instances, you have to exercise discipline and take the initiative. It's your life so be careful who you allow to sit front row.

I understand that I will meet people that I don't agree with, people that I don't like, that rub me the wrong way. But I will not allow those people to affect my emotions or influence my actions. I've been through the storm and come to realize that water is necessary for a flower to grow. I am ready and prepared to move on with my life. Closing this chapter and writing a new one.♥



Signed:
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Is GOOD a dying breed?

There's a saying, "A man is only faithful as his options." And I'm slowly learning this to be true. Men hate when women say, "All men are dogs." Yet, alot of them behave that way. Drooling over any semi-attractive woman. Entertaining any attention a woman gives. Go ahead men, say that I'm hating or better yet, that I'm bitter. You guys LOVE to say that. I'm just calling it as I see it. It doesn't matter who you have in your bed or on your arm, some men just crave more. Not because the woman is lacking in any way, but because he can have more.

Now let me be clear, not all men are this way. There are some men who live for relationships and is happy with just one woman. I've dated him before. But I was in school and preoccupied with my studies so we separated. I often think about that decision.  Those type of guys are few and far between, so LADIES when you find the man that eats, sleeps, breathe you...HOLD ON TO HIM.

But I've notinced that times have changed. The media sells sex no matter what the product is: sneakers, chewing gum, tampons. Its all about sex. Morals have been depleted and have become diluted. Why do you say that, you may ask? Because leaking a sex tape, being in a video half naked or in a magazine with a thong on gets you instant celebrity status. It even gets you a reality show. Now a days, strippers are populars and porn stars are idolized. That's why I say that. And that's ridiculous and sets a poor example for young ladies. Some are no longer aspiring to go to college and get an education. Instead, they are plotting on how to become the next basketball wife or video vixen. I can't help but wonder where have our morals gone? Are we not teaching our children to love themselves, to be self sufficient, to not follow the crowd?

In today's society, if you're not doing oral sex you're an outcast. People are criticized for being inexperienced sexually. When looking for a mate, people are no longer looking for morals and values. They are concerned with your tricks and tactics in the bedroom. I understand sexual compatibility is big for alot of people. And that's understandable, but what happens when you leave the bedroom? Are you compatible in life? Do you share the same goals?  Do you have the characteristics and qualities to bring out the best in eachother?  Do you share the same interests? Religious beliefs? Matter of fact, do you even believe anything religiously?

Our world is in microwave mode. We no longer take time to cook things and watch them develop to perfection. We want to stick it in the oven and it come out perfectly done and exactly to our liking. We're backwards now. Instead of becoming friends and getting to know eachother prior to sex, people have sex and get to know the person and become friends after the fact.  Hoping that the sexual act will bring them closer. It does, emotionally for the woman. Not so sure how the man is affected.

But I do know guys that dismiss a woman because she makes it clear that she doesn't sleep around and will not sleep with him without commitment. To that woman, KUDOS to you!!! Never compromise yourself and your standards. If a man isn't willing to put in the time and effort to get to know you as a person, then he definitely is not worthy of getting to know you intimately. Continue to love and value yourself regardless of what this world does. Be ye not conformed to this world.(Romans 12:2)

I wrote this post because standards are dying. People are being criticized for not following the crowd, for not doing what is expected. I believe in waiting for a meaningful relationship before having sex. I also believe in taking my time to REALLY get to know a person before getting into a relationship. So yes, I have seen many men come and go. And the ones that went, should have. I wish that some of the ones that stayed would have went also.  I am often criticized for my standards and my religious beliefs. I am not ashamed of them nor do I apologize for them. They make me who I am. I'm different and I LOVE IT!!! However, I do wonder if I will ever meet someone worthy of me. Some one deserving of someone who has done their best to respect themself and preserve their purity.

I understand men are expected to have sown their oats and there's a double standard but I don't want a man who has slept with lots of loose women. Someone who wasn't selective or discriminating in his dealings.  I want someone who thinks highly of himself and feels that ANY woman can't have him, regardless of how beautiful she is. Because I feel that any man can't have me, regardless of how charming, handsome or rich he is. I'm not for sale...I'm for love.

Now are there any GOOD people out there??
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A Woman's World

For centuries to come, men never understood women.  And even today, they struggle to understand what it is a woman wants....how a woman feels. They watch Oprah, talk to female friends, talk to their female family members, in hopes of learning what exactly a woman wants. What did she mean when she said, don't worry about it? Is she really okay with me not being ready to commit or is she just dealing with it until better comes along? Some of the answers can be found in her body language....in her actions after the fact.  Or maybe you should listen to her conversation. When you say certain things, the way she reacts.

Then there's the scary truth, that you may never know how she REALLY feels. Sometimes what a woman wants may vary from day to day. It also changes based on the end result. However, there are women who know exactly what they want because they've experienced enough bad to appreciate the good. But more often than not, alot of women are living life trial by error. Now men, don't start making comments because you are guilty of this too. Let's just discuss some scenarios that you've been through.

SCENARIO 1:  A woman meets a man and they began dating. They go out for a couple of dates and she sleeps with him. They continue to sleep together and the woman discusses a relationship. The man informs her that he isn't ready for a relationship but would like to continue seeing her. She continues to see him and sleep with him and commitment never comes. The woman gives him an ultimatem and eventually the interaction ends.

MALE POINT OF VIEW: I don't understand why she's mad, I told her that I wasn't ready for a relationship but would like to continue to sleep with...I mean...see her.

FEMALE POINT OF VIEW: He led me on, saying he wanted to see me like eventually we could progress into more.

LESSON: Ladies when a man says, I don't want a relationship, BELIEVE him. Even if his actions say otherwise. If you know you are looking for a relationship, build a friendship FIRST!!! Get to know the person WITHOUT sex, so you're judgment won't be clouded. During the friendship stage, they'll let you know if they're looking for something long term.

SCENARIO 2: Woman meets man and within the first few days she sleeps with them. This lead to numerous encounters of hot steamy sex. Eventually the sexual escapade ends when he says a comment that makes her feel disrespected. And after addressing it, he doesn't apologize. Instead he makes another rude comment.

LESSON: Get to know people before you sleep with them. I'm sure he was rude and disrespectful prior to the sex. That would've been discovered if they had spent some time to get to know eachother first. You'd be surprised what spending a little time would do. Lol

Ladies, let's address us. Some of us are double minded at times.  You tell your friends that you slept with him quickly because you "wanted some", so why get mad when it doesn't progress to a relationship? If you did it to appease a physical need then don't be upset when the emotional desires don't add up. Save yourself the unnecessary stress of disappointment. You got what you initially bargained for. Just make a better plan of attack for the next encounter.

The main problem with women is that we allow the emotional scars and baggage to linger long after the imposter has departed. You have to learn to have short term memory as to the pain. Remember the lesson but forget the negative. Never give anyone the power to hinder your ability to love. Always maintain control of your power over you!!!

When living the single life, the first thing you should do is determine what it is that you want out of your interactions with suitors. Is it a relationship...a friendship....cut buddy?  Determine that before you entertain anyone. By determining this, you decrease the probability of getting hurt or the short end of the stick.  Also, be up front in your discussions.  Let the other person know what you're looking for. Most men like to take it day to day or "go with the flow" and that's fine.  But if you want a relationship then you may want to keep your legs closed until you're CLEAR on exactly where the "flow" is going to take you. Now I'm not saying that not sleeping with a man automatically guarantees a relationship. But I am saying that, emotional ties comes with sex and if you don't know what the situation is or if he wants what you want, it's best to hold off.

MEN: If you don't want drama, it's best to be up front and clear about what you want. I know this next thing is hard for y'all but if you know she wants a relationship. AND you know you don't plan on being in one with her, DO NOT SLEEP WITH HER. This will almost always guarantee drama. Her feelings will be involved and she's gonna react emotionally. And someone may get hurt. Now if you let her know up front what your expectations were, then her decisions were no fault of yours. BUT if you are aware of her feelings and know that she's sleeping with you hoping that you'll commit, SAVE YOURSELF THE DRAMA.

And as far as what a woman wants....thinks...how she feels. If you spend time with her....talk to her.....listen to her......watch her actions....reactions....you'll know her. Yes we are emotional at times....irrational at times....but we have patterns and there is some method to the madness. You've just got to care enough in order to try to understand.

Welcome to a Women's World. We love you here ♥
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