Does family matter?

This past weekend, I took time off from work and went home to be with my grandparents because both were ill. My sister and I split our days in between being at the hospital with my grandma and the house with my granddad. I spent my nights with granddad and she spent her nights with Grandma. And we spent the days alternating between both. My parents are out of town, so my Mom calls us ALL day for status updates.

At times, you would think that my Mom was an only child. Well, my uncle also helps a lot but he lives in another city and his job isn't that flexible. But there's actually SEVEN of them and only two really carry the load. I watch how my grandparents' living conditions and their quality of life has decreased due to the people who make the decisions regarding their living/health. My grandparents worked extremely hard so that their 8 kids (1 deceased) could enjoy the finer things of life and live like they were part of a smaller family. They sacrificed and put God first, while instilling morals and values in their children. They were faithful servants to God and outstanding citizens in the community. And it hurts to see them in their latter years being treated like second class citizens by those they labored so diligently to provide for.

I can't help but wonder, where is the love? I am only a grandchild, the third generation, but my grandparents' teachings, character and integrity are embedded within me. I know God because of THEM. I have morals and values because of THEM. I know what LOVE is because of them. I value the sacred bond of marriage because of THEM. They were an excellent example of what a loving, long-lasting marriage should be. I love them with ALL my heart and want the best for them. So to see them being watched, not entertained....not taken places...not read to, but WATCHED, day in and day out, hurts my heart. It just seems like they are holding them hostage until death comes. I want SO much more for them. They were active in their daily life. They went to dinner often..they travelled.

I know it's easy for me to complain and voice my opinion because I don't live there. But if I was financially able, I'd take time off from work. I'd live with them and put my granddad in his wheelchair, put grandma in my car and we'd take daily outtings. I just feel like when you love someone, you do all you can and spend all the time you can with them while they're living. You pray for them and believe miracles for them because your love is SO strong that NOTHING is impossible. Despite all the diagnosis and conditions that they have been tagged with, my love and my faith in God pushes me to believe that they still have life ahead of them and I refuse to let them go.

But the way they have been treated by those they love so dearly hurts my heart. It shows me that people are selfish and thoughtless. How could you NOT want the best for someone who provided and cared for you...someone who showed you unconditional love...who doctored on your wounds and fought those battles that you were too young or too weak to fight?

Because you are so caught up in self and material things that you forget that one day, you too will age. And who will care for you? Will they show lack of concern for you as you have to your parents? God pays every man according his works.(Job 34:11) For whatever a man soweth, so shall he reap.(Gal. 6:7) If no one else sees you, GOD DOES. So watch yourself because it's coming back.♥

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Day to Day

Hello again. I know it's been a while since my last post. Well, life has thrown its curve balls and I've been taking it all day to day. Nonetheless, God ALWAYS provides. So I am writing today to encourage you and share some small steps that may help you through out your day. Hope it's as helpful and enlightening for you as it was for me.

At the beginning of your day invite Jesus to partner with you.
When you have a tough problem, ask Him for help.
When you have a difficult decision to make, ask Him for wisdom.
When your energy flagging, ask Him for renewed strength.
When you find your attitude turning negative, ask Him to re-orient your heart.
Every few hours as you're working, pause 2 or 3 minutes:
  Thank Him for His help.
  Hand Him your worries.
  Ask for His energy.

Whatever you do, Do it in the Name of Jesus. Col. 3:17 ♥

Epiphany

I think about life all the time. Where I am.....where I'm going.....where I should be....why I'm not there. And truth is, It was due to a number of things....I trusted too easily....cared too deeply....even shared too much. Which is crazy because those are great qualities to possess but bad to exemplify when you're trying to excel. Especially, when you're dealing with people who aren't really for you. Those people will take your kindness as weakness and take advantage of your humility. More importantly, they will distract you from God's purpose for your life. And they did just that to me. I found myself engaging in meaningless activity and wasting time on things I can't even recall. It took me a minute to see through the falsity. As the saying goes, "everything that glitters ain't gold." Boy, do I know the meaning of that. I wasn't hurt that they weren't who they presented themselves to be, just disappointed in myself for being so naive.

So here I am today. My heart cries for progression. It yearns to be more than I am right now. Yes, where I am is a great place for most, but it's not good enough for me. I know that my journey is long, for my God says so. And I am both excited and discouraged because I wonder if I have even begun to travel it. I look at the years I have wasted on frivolous matters and superficial people, and cry because I know those years are lost forever. But hope dries my eyes and aspiration gives me the energy to press on.

At times my heart aches because I'm not in the position to help others to the magnitude I desire. For someone to humble them self and come to me, and I can't help....hurts like hell! So I strive daily, not for me, for them. I press everyday, not for me, for them. I can't give up, no matter how hard it becomes, because this battle isn't just for me, my people need me! So I will press on.....I will fight through it...And stay positive because this is bigger than me. It is my duty! I will not let man, material things nor the cares of this world keep me from God's purpose for my life! If not me, then who?♥

"For many are called, but few are chosen." Matt.22:14

Love...Love....Love

Have you ever loved something/someone so much that you would do anything to make it work? And it seemed that whatever you did, it didn't work. And just when you decided to walk away....to leave, there were signs that maybe it could work. That you shouldn't give up. So you hold onto that small piece of hope. Replaying every good memory. Analyzing every action, every exchange, to determine if you've done your part. Then you realize that there are some things you could've done but didn't. What should you do? Say those things you should've said? Do those things you didn't? If you still have the opportunity, then yes. But if the relationship has run its course, then let it go. That's life. You pray about it, suck it up and move on.

It's just so hard to move on from love, even if it's one-sided because the heart fights for what it feels. Makes excuses for what it can't cure. Holds on to what it can't let go. Accepts what it can't change. And all of that's fine, but don't let love abuse you, mistreat you, ruin you so that you're incapable of loving again.

I know all about love. About the feeling of excitement when it's new. The anxiety and adrenaline flowing through your body prior to every meeting with the new love. The racing of your heartbeat with just the sound of their name. That's the honeymoon stage. Eventually the new love fades and it becomes day to day. You encounter real life problems and disagreements. This is the test of your love. Can it survive differences? Misunderstandings? Possibly infidelity? They say love covers a multitude of fault, so it just may. What doesn't kill us makes us stronger.

The trouble area in love is the compromise. It can't always be the same person compromising. In order to maintain a healthy and happy relationship, each party has to give and respect the other's wishes. Sometimes you have to do things that you don't want to. But you should do it with a smile because it makes the person that you love happy. Their happiness is enough to make your sacrifice worthwhile.

Personally, I struggle with love because my emotions are so deep and unconditional. The level of my loyalty and devotion makes me very hesitant to take that route. My hesitation doesn't necessarily take away my ability to love but it creates a wall that one must breakdown to enjoy the benefits of my love. See I am one that gives her all, not for notoriety or the opportunity to throw it in your face later. But for the joy it brings...for the smile on his face. Everyone wants an unselfish lover but what happens when you get one and you're not ready to give love? My fear is loving someone that doesn't love me. The thought of going day to day thinking about him, wandering if I crossed his mind. And the fact that I have to wonder.....such a humbling experience. But I do know, that one can not truly appreciate love until he/she has experienced heartbreak. It is then that you value the small things and become more understanding of life's mishaps.

Love...Love...Love. People define love in many different ways, but the bottom line is this: You must love GOD and yourself before you can love anyone else. Now that's a proven fact!♥

INDEPENDENT WOMEN

Let's talk about independent woman. Men say they want a strong, independent woman yet they are intimidated by them. So the million dollar question is "why do they knock gold-diggers if deep down, they want someone who needs them?"

I understand that the term independent woman has somewhat of a negative image because some women take it to the male bashing level. But not all independent women are like that. I feel independent means that for the most part, you are self-sufficient and financially you provide for yourself. And no we, independent women, may not need a man for financial stability but we want a man for companionship, emotional support, and help in others areas. For a man to be wanted by a woman is the ultimate compliment because she's made a conscious choice to have you in her life. She chose you. She wasn't forced due to a need not being met. It was her free will.

I just had to discuss this topic because I am baffled by the fact that some men feel like they can't add to the lives of successful women. And these men knock those women because they feel inadequate. I don't think that's fair. I take pride in being a strong, independent black woman but the joy and fulfillment I receive is not at anyone's expense. My feeling of accomplishment, knowing that I can stand on my own should not offend anyone. And any man should be happy to have a woman that can hold her own and his too if there ever comes a time that he can't.

My grandmother taught me that being a strong woman doesn't mean you have to step on your mates toes. The strength comes in picking and choosing your battles....letting him lead and subtly stepping in when you realize that he's lost his way.

I encourage my women to continue to make a way for yourselves because at the end of the day, if the relationship goes sour, all you've got is you. But be open to love and allowing the man to be a man. Don't go into the relationship with a negative outlook...pick your battles wisely.... love...live...and compromise.

And to my men, I understand that there are women who make it their business to let you know that they do not need you! And that may very well be true. But she does need love, we all do! So you shouldn't let a woman's credentials, possessions, looks or confidence deter you from showing interest. If in fact you are interested. Take the time to get to know her, to understand her. Normally the harder the exterior, the softer/warmer the interior. There's alot of lonely people out there. She may not need your finances but there's so much more to give than that. Strong women...independent women....successful women....all need love. TRUST ME!♥

PROCRASTINATION

Hey!!! So I finally created a blog and I am soooo excited because I have alot to share with the world! (Lol) Just to give you a little insight about me, I am a country girl with Hollywood swag. I've been through alot....overcame more....and I continue to press toward the mark. I am a strong woman with Christian values but as the book says, "God's not through with me yet!"

I titled this blog "Procrastination" because that is my Kryptonite. I have good intentions and GREAT ideas. I plan for it....then I take forever to follow through. Lol But today...TODAY BABY!?! I am procrastination FREE!! And it feels great!

Are you a procrastinator? Is there anything in your life that you've always wanted to do, planned for it, but never took the final steps to make it happen? I say STOP procrastinating and JUST DO IT! From one procrastinator to another, I BELIEVE IN YOU!!! ♥